Healing Connections

I am going to tell a story, for those inclined to listen. It outlines why i want to give as I do and why I want to see a growing community around me, spiritually.

I want to talk about my past journey. Tell some of my story, although it doesn't define me, it has relevance here. Specifically I want to talk about my judgements of good and bad. I believe our judgements of good and bad or right and wrong do us harm. We are all one in this world. These judgements are like spiritually amputating an aspect of life. Nothing is bad, it's just that not everything is beneficial.

I learned to judge things in a very black and white and fear filled way in a brainwashing style cultish mentally I was raised in. I didn't question it as a child. I just became fearful of hell and any of my thoughts or feelings that would lead me there. I know there are so many of us who experienced this. I remember being told i didn't need goals for the future because Jesus was coming back and could even be today. I was taught ONE thing was true and everything else i this massive diverse and beautiful world was wrong.

I realized the truth of myself and walked away and WOW!! The strength of the spiritual experiences I had then. Hundreds of them!! The universe was showing me what i had been missing. But I was still messed up and scarred, so,.

I had an abusive relationship in a chapter of my life where I had taken up residence in my own inner hell. I chose this man because as a self loathing woman, I needed tools of the self loathing trade. He was one I employed that was very good at his job of harming me. Better perhaps then I anticipated. I deemed it bad, and indeed I hold today that it was not beneficial.

During my time with him, I employed other tools of self destruction along my journey. The world is generous with possibilities for one who searches this path. Drugs were one. In fact they were one of my favorite. I could self harm and forget all the reasons why at the same time. It seemed worth selling all potential goodness for.

While I was actively using my favorite drugs, which had a tendency to have a very slight balance between happily stoned and dead, I tipped to the dead side. The ambulance was called and took 15 minutes to arrive. My partner breathed for me. When the ambulance officers told him I was dead, he threatened their lives, which was one of his favorite ways to motivate others, and so they made one, then two more attempt at saving me. Not because they thought there was a chance, but to not be pulled under a large truck by an aggressive sociopath.

I woke up to be told I was two seconds from brain death.

I did the same thing again the next day.

When I look back on that chapter, certain points about it feel curious to me. A person I deemed bad in my life, is the reason I still have one.

I have countless experiences like that, as source energy woke me to the fact that all is valuable, in its way and place, just not all is beneficial
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Today, I take everything with an open heart from the standpoint of a grateful observer who will give love and help where I can. Because I can't judge a single person or situation as bad. I'm not that judge.

I'm just a gratefully connected, self loving and awake, wounded healer.

I started this page because 15 years after the destructive side burnt the worst of itself out, I've had experiences as connected to source and light as the past was disconnected and dark. i now see service and love to be the highest calling. I think more then successful people, the world needs kind and generous people right now.

I've had spiritual experience and training along many lines in that time. Reiki, telepathy, claircognizance, tarot, runes, re birthing, chanting, shamanic healing, I can see auras sometimes and I visually see the energy that people give each other... we are so brutal and ugly to each other sometimes, even during nice words. I don't like crowds much because sometimes I see things in people i didn't want to know. I've been gifted so much by source.... I know I have to give it all back, it's just a loaner for this life....it's not mine even. It belongs to source. So that's why i don't want to use it for myself for money. It's my gift to source, to share what was freely given to me.

I give reiki, intuitive readings and tarot readings for free. If you benefited, please pay it forward. If you want it, please ask. It makes me happy to do it.

If you have a story that can show people who are lost that there are lots of ways to be transformed and spiritually awaken, please tell it.

If you are lost or have a question about anything at all, please ask it. There's no dumb questions, at some point we all didn't know.

If you are a spiritual practitioner yourself, please consult your guides about offering even one free reading or whatever a fortnight. Or providing information to questions in posts even. It would, I'm sure, be beautiful energy returned to you ten fold.

Let's grow together.

Namaste to all. Wishing you light, love and enough of everything you need to grow stronger to the soul xxx