Institute of HEART Intelligence

LOVING ALL OF WHO YOU ARE with Nicholas de Castella
We, in the west, live in extra-ordinary times. We experience amazing wealth, health and freedom - never before seen on this planet. The shadow side of this is that we have developed unrealistic expectations of our self, our children, friends and others and life. Our superhuman expectations (I should be able to...) lead to falling short of our ideals giving rise to disappointment, discontentment, frustration, feeling inside faulty and inadequate and being critical of our self and others. We compensate for this by driving our self harshly trying to have the perfect body, kids, house, job... the end result: Misery.
What is lacking here is genuine human acceptance, acknowledgement, presence, connection and gratitude. To be human is to be able to dream, to stretch, to inspire and to be of selfless service. Being human also is to be limited, to make mistakes, to forget things and hurt our self and others.
To be a fully open hearted human and to find happiness requires us to let go of our judgements, be gentle and compassionate with our limitations. It takes real courage to show up as a real human. To be fully human is to feel doubt, confusion, and insecurity. To be fully human is to be vulnerable: to laugh and cry and shake and roar. To be fully human is to accept, to forgive, to surrender and to care.
The great paradox here is that when we accept and embrace our human condition we open the doors to the possibility of being gentle, loving and accepting our self and others.
It is in embracing our human condition fully that we can start to love our self as we are and ironically we begin to bring forth the best in us. When we love ourselves for who we are - now, we become more peaceful, kind, compassionate, adventurous and creative.
Only when we have the courage to really show up, to speak out truth and show what we're feeling can we really connect with others and build relationships that are: alive, loving, supportive and inspiring.
Institute of Heart Intelligence
P.O. Box 198. The Basin 3154 T: 03 9739 8889 www.eq.net.au info@eq.net.au

The goal is to live our Earth life fully. To do this we must risk. We must risk loving and losing, being bold and failing, being adventurous and getting lost, and opening our heart to all that is: To keep opening until we connect with the timeless of peace and serenity: Until joy blooms from our heart, a joy that is not burdened by our expectations of how life should be: A joy that is not dependant on needing all the balls to be in a row: A joy that arises spontaneously from within: A joy that permeates each instance, moment to moment.
Next time you find yourself being harsh on yourself I invite you to pause for a moment, drop under the criticism and explore with curiosity and openness:
‘What am I feeling here?’,
‘How can I make space for this too?’,
‘Can I drop my judgement about what I am feeling and simply allow it to be?’. See how you go...
HOW TO DISARM THE JUDGE AND INSPIRE HEART CONNECTION
1. What aspect of yourself do you judge as bad, faulty or inadequate?
2. Focus on one issue for a moment.
3. Notice the resistance you create by judging. Feel the resistance. Where is it in your
body.
4. Go deeper than the judge. Feel under the judgement and the resistance.
5. Breathe into your body and notice what you are feeling.
6. Feel the emotion and breathe gently. What emotion are you feeling?
7. Allow what you are feeling to be fully present.
8. Welcome it in as you breathe in and let go and soften as your breathe out.
9. Stay with the feelings until they shift, until they open up and start to flow.
10.Feel the sense of expansion in your heart and notice what you are feeling.
Love and blessings, Nicholas de Castella
Institute of Heart Intelligence
P.O. Box 198. The Basin 3154 T: 03 9739 8889 www.eq.net.au info@eq.net.au